Grumpkins

Old Man Gordy the Grumpkin didn’t roll into his forever home—he was dragged, muttering, “Figures. Nobody asked me if I wanted to be adopted.” His woolen scowl was set so deep you’d think someone had stolen his patch in ’87. He was adopted by Nina, a candle enthusiast who thought a little seasonal sass would brighten her autumn. Gordy disagreed. He immediately claimed the end of the sofa as his “gloom throne” and has been sighing there ever since. Gordy does not like pumpkin spice. “Overrated,” he mutters every time Nina lights a latte-scented candle. He pretends to hate cozy blankets, but somehow he always ends up right in the middle of the warmest one. When asked about it, he growls, “Blanket was here first. I’m just protecting it.” One evening, Nina baked a pumpkin pie. Gordy staged a silent protest by turning himself face-down on the counter for three days. On the fourth day, he sat upright and announced, “Fine. I forgive you. But I won’t forget.” Despite his grumbles, Gordy has a soft side. He shuffles closer when Nina reads by lamplight, pretending to glare at the book but secretly enjoying the company. And though he scowls at visitors, Nina swears his little woolen frown tilts softer whenever someone calls him “handsome.”