Bad Eggs

Sonny “Eggshell” Malone didn’t roll out of his adoption box—he strutted. Wool slicked back, tiny felt jacket collar popped, he immediately leaned against a salt shaker and muttered, “Cool joint ya got here.” Adopted by Frankie, a retro diner enthusiast, Sonny found his calling within hours. He claimed the countertop jukebox as his personal stage, snapping his tiny felt fingers whenever the tunes got good. If the music skipped, one swift head bop from Sonny seemed to fix it. Frankie swears it’s not just coincidence. Sonny spends most of his days perched on the edge of coffee mugs, smirking at the world like he knows secrets no one else does. He greets visitors with an “ayyy,” which is more of a vibe than an actual sound, but everyone feels it. When the Rotten Tomatoes heckled him, Sonny just gave them The Look—the cool one-arched-brow, smirk-half-hidden look. The Tomatoes went quiet. No one’s seen them so stunned. Even the Hot Peppers backed off, muttering about “tough competition.” But beneath the leather-jacket attitude, Sonny’s got a gooey yolk of a heart. When Frankie had a bad day, Sonny hopped down, leaned on their phone, and refused to move until Frankie laughed. Then, with a dramatic flick of his wool “hair,” he went back to his jukebox vigil.